Mid-life

Live the questions to let go

by Jennifer Nice on Jul 1, 2021 category Mid-life

Letting go. Or as Elsa belted out in Frozen “Let it go!” How many times have we heard that phrase in our lives? Personally, I used to hate this phrase. Too simplistic. Too trite. And if I let go, that would mean I didn’t care. Which wasn’t true, usually. Let’s face it, it’s hard to let go, especially to something that has served us or benefited us in some way.

But when we find ourselves in liminal space, aka the waiting room, actively waiting (seems like a paradox) can actually help us. Letting go is a practice, not a “one and done” mic drop. Letting go can feel like a death of sorts when we release anything or anyone that we have clung to. It can feel painful, sad, weird, uncomfortable. It’s a loss of control. I have heard letting go described as self-emptying. Ponder that.

While the practice of letting go can feel like grieving, it helps widen our field of consciousness. Makes us more expansive. It creates space for newness. We can learn to cultivate an awareness and courage to recognize an opportune moment. It helps us get ready and stay ready for what is next.

Letting go provides us new opportunities, new learning, new ways of seeing, new relationships. Honestly, it’s the beginning of transformation.

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Forces inviting us into liminal space

by Jennifer Nice on Jun 1, 2021 category Mid-life

One of my favorite authors is Sue Monk Kidd.The first book I read of hers was The Secret Life of Bees, almost 20 years ago (and I highly recommend her newest, The Book of Longings.) Just before my 50th birthday this winter, I picked up When the Heart Waits, which she wrote in 1990 (I was a freshman in college!) well before she was ever famous. Here is the quote from the inside jacket, which compelled me to buy the book:

“I was standing on the shifting ground of midlife, having come upon that time in life when one is summoned to an inner transformation, to a crossing over from one identity to another. When change-winds swirl through our lives, especially in midlife, they often call us to undertake a new passage of the spiritual journey: that of confronting the lost self – our true self. They call us to come home to ourselves to become who we really are.”

Sue Monk Kidd, When the Heart Waits

Talk about synchronicity! The notion of liminal space keeps popping up for me in unexpected places, even when it’s not called that. Kind of like when you buy a new car and you notice all of a sudden it seems every other person is driving the same vehicle.

The chapter “Crisis as Opportunity” provided the most succinct explanation for why we find ourselves in liminal space. Personally, the word “crisis” signals danger or stress for me. I really don’t like the word. But Kidd points out that “a crisis is a holy summons to cross a threshold. It involves both a leaving behind and a stepping toward…a separation and an opportunity.”

This photo was taken in Neskowin a couple of days ago. Neskowin is a little beach I’ve been visiting since I was a young kid, but this past weekend we happened to be on the south side of the creek. It was my first time on the south end of Neskowin beach in 30+ years and it felt synchronous to discover this keyhole in Proposal Rock. I’m captured by the imagery of this photo for crossing a threshold.

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Blooming when Broken

by Jennifer Nice on Apr 29, 2021 category Mid-life

The inspiration for this title sprang from a phenomenon I observed while hiking through Tice Woods at Rotary Nature Preserve a couple of weeks ago. I feel so lucky this nature park is a 5 minute walk from my house, and I regularly indulge in “forest therapy” on the trails here. However, there was a massive ice storm in our area over Valentine’s Day weekend and hundreds of trees splintered and many toppled completely under the weight of the ice. My beloved nature park, along with other parks in our town have been officially closed with all the downed trees. The last month I have ventured over there a few times, carefully picking my way along the trails that are unobstructed; I just couldn’t stay away from my neighborhood forest.

I noticed these brilliant snow-white blooms on this fallen tree and they stopped me in my tracks. How is it possible for a tree to bloom when it’s downed? How does something grow when it’s supposedly cut off from its life source – the roots nourished by the rich earth? I’m no botanist, or even remotely gifted in science, so instead of trying to figure out the answer, I simply marveled and pondered. Nature often provides me solace and a reminder that all living creatures are resilient. Just like this fallen tree, we, too, can “bloom” even if we feel broken.

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Living from the True Self

by Jennifer Nice on Apr 6, 2021 category Mid-life

I snapped this photo a few weeks ago when I was walking downtown, waiting to meet my sisters. For some reason I decided to wander to the top level of the parking garage, and I reminisced about the one and only “Roof Top” teen dance that I attended back in the summer of 1985 when the structure was newly built (when you live in your hometown, memories like this pop up regularly!)

Are you who you want to be? It’s the perennial question for us human beings. I wonder who spray painted that phrase and what motivated them to do so. It was synchronicity to stumble across this message.

A concept I’ve been exploring for a few years now is what it means to live from our True Selves. At some point in mid-life, most of us have the opportunity to face and reconcile this notion. What is the True Self?

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Walking into 50

by Jennifer Nice on Feb 21, 2021 category Mid-life

*I wrote this a couple of days before my birthday…and naturally struggled with the technicalities of getting this blog up and running. So, here I am a few weeks later. That’s okay. The hat I’m wearing is a party favor from my friend Susan’s 50th birthday party 2 years ago. I may journey through this “born to be 50 tour” all year.

Happy birthday to me. Today I turn 50 years old.

In 2011, on my 40th birthday, I sailed around the Cape of Good Hope, South Africa, while working as staff on Semester at Sea. The ocean was fierce and seasickness roiled me the majority of the day. It was a small price to pay for adventure – we had just spent 6 incredible days in Cape Town where I vowed I would return in 10 years for my entire birthday month (obviously did not happen!) My fellow LLC (Living Learning Community) staff and kids surprised me with a cake and singing at the pool deck.

Twenty years ago, turning 30, I celebrated at the Greek Cuisina in downtown Portland with my husband and dear family. As I was 5 months pregnant with my first child, there were no toasts with Ouzo, but we danced to a lively band and threw white plates to the floor to watch them shatter, which I guess is a tradition in Greece, or at least at that particular Greek restaurant.

Back in 1991, I honestly do not remember my 20th birthday at the University of Redlands. But I can guarantee you it likely involved drinking red solo cups full of foamy beer with the Friend Lottery, amazing women I have the privilege to still be friends with to this day.

This new blog, On The Threshold, is my gift to myself. And to anyone who wants to read it and perhaps learn something, or feel something, or do something because of my words. Or not, and that’s okay. My spiritual journey has not been linear, and I suspect other people’s isn’t either.

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