“The opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty.” – Anne Lamott
Walking in darkness is a metaphor used in many faith traditions. It means to keep the faith even when we can’t “see” the outcome. A few weeks ago I went on a solo hike at Cascade Head, needing nature therapy and movement to shake out some frustrations and fears. Cascade Head is situated near the coast and in the past, I’ve been lucky to hike it on clear days that afford incredible views of the ocean and the coastline.
On this day, it was sunny and about 70 degrees at the trailhead and within minutes I shed my sweatshirt, stashing it behind a tree. As soon as I emerged from the lush Sitka spruce forest into the prairie grass headland, the wind whipped up and the fog engulfed me. I trudged on, head down, hat pulled low and tight after the wind lifted it off my head once…pissed off for not keeping my sweatshirt, and feeling sorry for myself that I had to endure cold and uncomfortable hiking conditions.
As the trail steepened and my lower limbs grew weary, I kept looking up to the “summit” wondering how much farther. The fog sabotaged my visual efforts each and every time. I knew it was there but couldn’t see nor remember how close it actually was. Stubborn me, I kept going, misery lacing each step. I knew there was a lesson lurking somewhere in this hike. So, I plodded on and on. Once I read we must sit with our pain long enough to learn what it has to teach us. The fogged-in summit illustrated in sharp irony the present liminal space I find myself in.
