New Year

Fallow ground

by Jennifer Nice on Jan 17, 2025 category Mid-life, New Year

We tend to disappear and reappear based on enthusiasm, time, and [energy]. I read once that farmers will let a field fallow in order to give the soil a rest; an inactive period to help replenish its nutrients so that whatever it cultivates will grow again, more prodigious than before. I think that people and soil have a lot in common.

G. Boston

Before I sat down to type out my first draft, I reread my January 2023 Blank Inside and January 2024 I Have a Cup posts. There is certainly a consistent pattern to my thoughts at the new year. Probably a good idea to study the understory of those thoughts. As I have written previously: self examination, a fun little hobby in midlife. And not always comfortable!

I find myself not merely inhabiting a calendar season, but an agrarian season without a definitive end date. Again, there’s that edge of discomfort inviting me to lean into it. What does it mean to be fallow? Here’s my take.

Read On

I have a cup

by Jennifer Nice on Jan 21, 2024 category Mid-life, New Year

I have a cup

It’s a lovely and sturdy cup

Is it full?

Is it empty?

What’s in there?

Is it half full?

Is it half empty?

Something is in there

Why do you tell me how to view my cup?

Do you know its contents?

Do you know what my cup is made of?

My cup has

Spilled

Overflowed

Burned my fingers

Chipped

Knocked over

Cracked

Repaired

AND it has never

Gathered dust in the cupboard

What a lovely and sturdy work of art

A gift

My cup

This poem rolled out of my brain through my fingers quite quickly as the curtain came down on 2023. Instead of saying Happy New Year, I changed that salutation to It Will Be a Year. As I’ve written about in previous posts, we’ve learned that control over our lives is an illusion. Who am I to say that next year will be a happy one? This I know: it will be a year.

After fighting what we (and the doctor) thought was a horrible flu for a week, William was hospitalized for 3 nights and diagnosed with a mysterious kidney infection. He was discharged on Dec. 31, 2023, then had to recuperate at home and miss the first week of winter term. Meanwhile, Marguerite, my mother in law, ended up in the ER in the same hospital at the same time as William, and was diagnosed with an inoperable and malignant brain tumor.

So yeah, 2023 ended with a slam that shouted “don’t let the door hit you on your way out.”

Read On

Blank inside

by Jennifer Nice on Jan 10, 2023 category New Year

I was more than ready to turn the page on 2022. Many people in my circles felt the same way, so I’ve been told. 2022 was the hardest and worst year of my life (see previous post for more context) and yet, I do not feel an exhilarating fresh start with 2023.

I possess no inspiration to set goals, make big plans, or create opportunities for success. And it feels okay. I’m doing okay, sometimes better than okay, but mostly just okay. And I’m okay with that right now.

‘Tis the season for New Year’s resolutions. Why the fascination with resolutions? Our capitalistic culture glamorizes making resolutions every new year, but most of us drop them sooner than later, despite our best intentions and the promise of improving ourselves…or something like that.

Who says starting anew can’t happen in March? Or June or October – or on an ordinary Thursday? I’m not in a space for a resolution, now or next Thursday, but still, I’m pondering the concept “resolve to always keep resolving.” My meditation practice falls under this resolving umbrella, which I’ve resumed in 2023 after an 8 1/2 month hiatus. Last week I certainly noticed a positive difference in my days after I meditated first thing in the morning. Who knows how it will unfold this week?

Read On