My Heart Sees Your Heart

About a month ago I arrived home from a week long yoga retreat in Mexico. Even as I write this, it chagrins me how my privilege is on full display, especially in light of world events transpiring. But allow me to keep going, as my humble aim is to be honest when writing about experiences in mid-life. Although our paths look different, the journey is universal. I heard on a Brené Brown podcast once that mid-life is an actual developmental stage in adults and it’s critical we’re aware of the changes and challenges facing us in this stage of life. And I would add, let’s be open about it!

The theme of the yoga retreat was “Embrace the Edge,” taught by Fiji McAlpine of Do Yoga With Me. I started doing online yoga classes on this website back in 2016 (thanks to a tip by my sis Molly) and Fiji quickly stood out as my favorite instructor. When the yoga retreat was advertised in the winter of 2021 for the following year, I needed a ray of light and hope to grab onto…something to look forward to, hopefully post-pandemic. Even so, making a reservation felt indulgent and maybe reckless, with the future uncertain. Yet a giddy anticipation bubbled inside me by the act of committing to something I knew I would probably, absolutely, savor.

Molly and I decided that yes, we should book our spots and go for it. It was the best decision.

My yoga journey began in my late 20’s, more out of curiosity and my tendency to try different kinds of fitness. Early on I observed how yoga simultaneously relaxed and energized me, though I couldn’t articulate why. My yoga practice ebbed and flowed through the years, crunched by the usual constraints of working, raising a family, daily demands of living, and the need for sleep.

Discovering Do Yoga With Me enabled me to do yoga more often, as I could pick and choose when, what style, and the time commitment. The past few years (and especially in the pandemic) I’ve practiced with more consistency and felt the benefits. Still, I was surprised at how transformative a week-long retreat actually was for my body, mind, and spirit.

According to Fiji, yoga, translated from Sanskrit, means to yoke, to join, to form a union. Since I’ve been practicing yoga solo in my family room for what feels like an eternity, I didn’t realize how yoga cultivates connection on a variety of levels.

Yoga helps us feel more connected to our physical body through the awareness on the moves, poses, and breath work. That focus allows us to fully inhabit the present moment and focus on the physical being, which gives my monkey mind a much needed break! This place of being connected to my body and inner self gives me a sense of calm and clarity. 

The opportunity to practice yoga with 17 other women throughout the retreat was nothing short of inspiring. To arrive on our mats twice each day, in the midst of a collective energy field, with other “yogis” of all backgrounds and skill levels, created an intense bonding experience (apparently studies have shown that synchronized movement experiences do that, similar to team sports or performance art.) Group practice expands yoga’s capacity for connection. As we move and breathe as one, we FEEL as we are one. 

On the final evening, Fiji led us in a circle practice that only “worked” using supported leg poses with the person to our right or left. At its conclusion, we were instructed to look the person in the eye to our right and say simply “My heart sees your heart.”

It was one of the most powerful shared moments I recall in my adult life. And it’s something I’m trying to remember and reflect “out” into the corner of my world everyday since. 

We truly are all connected to one another in ways we sometimes can’t see, or even feel. But connection does exist and needs to be fostered, even with people outside of our comfortable social circles. I don’t want to forget or abandon that awareness of connection, even and especially when there’s a divide. And the societal divisions feel starker than ever the past few years. 

The retreat reminded me I how much I was missing real connections with others. Like a lot of people, I found other ways to connect during the pandemic – Zoom get togethers, walks, gatherings outside or socially distanced with masks, and getting used to staying home with my people.

That yoga week filled my cup to overflowing, and I didn’t know how empty it was. I learned the connection that yoga cultivates within ourselves can set the stage for connection to ripple out into the community and world around each of us.

Whether you practice yoga or not, I hope you can seek ways to find and strengthen connections, both within yourself and with others. And remember, dear reader, my heart sees your heart.